This is somewhat paraphrased Comments Off

Manager: BigBoss is putting even more pressure on us to complete the database project of doom. You need to work faster. I may get a metronome or whip for this very reason.

Me: I will bean you in the head with a metronome and the idea of you with a whip skeeves me. I will use it to trip you and make you fall down.

Manager: Oh. But we do need to work faster.

Me: No prob. I’ll just put the rest of my job on hold today, ‘kay?

Manager: Sounds good.