Your brand is not my friend

Like a reformed tax-and-spend politician who’s suddenly seen the light, ad agencies are busy telling anyone who’ll listen that they’re not about selling anymore. No, what they’re into now is “storytelling” and “conversation.” Because you see, consumers aren’t really customers anymore. They’re friends. But come on guys, who are you really fooling? Your brand is not my friend.

No, really - it works:

“There’s a kid. Sprawl kid. Army brass’s daughter. Biowar virus attack fried her nerves out at 19 months. She can’t see or hear, can barely vocalize. She’s been to specialists everywhere. Everywhere legal. But nothing worked.”

“My heart goes out,” Hojima spat, “but what the hell does that have to do with me?”

“You’re going to splice Helen’s nerves back, Colonel. Let her see the sun again, hear music.”
http://mcsweeneys.net/2008/9/30bryant.html

A GI Joe/Venture Bros. crossover. Completely wrong, completely funny.

It’s this or Cthulhu…

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.
– General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler (http://www.zod2008.com/)

We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my family’s less safe than it was eight years ago, we’ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … I’m a little angry

Full thing over here.

Mom allegedly uses daughter’s ID to be cheerleader

No body switching was involved - just identity theft, and one very messed up woman.

Dear Twilight fandom -
Thank you for making everyone else look so steady and well adjusted. (even the rabid HP fen).

love and headdesks,
me.

Silly Novelists - I guess wish fulfillment via purple prose isn’t such a new thing. :)

Among the news: the film will be more “romantic” and include a subplot about Connor MacLeod falling in love with a mortal woman, and dealing with the fact that she’s going to die.
-Charlie Jane Anders

Charlie, have you *seen* the original movie? Those are two of the main plot points. (Plot point #3 of course involves Kurgan and the choppy choppy)

On the up side (maybe?), Peter Davis is apparently involved with this bludgeoning of my childhood remake, and his actual quote ran like this:

I would hate to think that people viewed Highlander as a sword fighting movie because it’s much more than that. The issues of an immortal falling in love with a woman and knowing she’s going to grow old and die in your arms, those are very romantic issues to deal with.

These aren’t new concepts, it’s a reminder to the *OMG swords!!* fanboy contingent that there was always more to the move than that.

Did McCain just nominate Laura Roslin to be his VP?