Apparently, Ann Coulter broke her jaw, and has had her mouth wired shut. No word on whether Henry Rollins has died laughing yet.

Inspired by Lars.

• Key Lime Pie - That blond you hooked up with over spring break. Lots of fun but a little too tart for the long term.
• Apple Pie - Brunette. Sensible and academic. Your mom loves her, and you think you might as well. You break it off because you’re just not ready to admit that your mom might be right about something.

(more…)

http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/

I saw this and thought of you! (Parenting poems. Really adorable.)

Theoretical knitting!

Is ded from giggles. Here ya go.

GM: OK, the bugbear attacks you. What do you do?
OBAMA: I send one of my 672 henchmen after it.
MCCAIN: OK, seriously. Why does he have so many henchmen? I’m a level 72 ranger and he’s only a level 8 paladin.
OBAMA: Well, if you’d bought the Grassroots Organizing and Oratory/Colgate Smile proficiencies you could min max it so that you…

The whole thing is here

Original poster asks others to edit his photo for him. Mocking and photoshoppery ensues. (some slightly NSFW)

Toffee Nugget - Few men dare ask the question “What is toffee, exactly?” All those who have investigated this substance are now either dead or insane.
-Luke Burns

Georgia: We broke away from Russia a while back. Yay us!
Russia: Still impressed with that, are you?
USA: See? Democracy prevails. Georgia is good.
Georgia: *sucks up to Washington*
Ajara: We’re part of Georgia. We think that sucks. We’re gonna break away too.
Georgia: GRRR
Ajara: Er, maybe not.
South Ossetia (SO): We’re part of Georgia. We think that sucks. We’re gonna break away too.
Georgia: GRRR
SO: Russia, some help here?
Russia: Sure, we’ll send in some peacekeepers to keep the Georgians off your backs.
SO: YAY - freedom now!
Georgia: Allright, we’re cool. Here’s a nice shiny peace agreement.
SO, USA: YAY - go team democracy!
Georgia: Just kidding… *invades*
Russia: Oh Georgia, remember how proud you were about that break up?
Georgia: err….
Russia: *kicks Georgia’s ass*
Georgia: RUN AWAY!! Help us USA!
USA: *whistles and looks away*
SO: Thanks Russia! We’re free now!
Russia: Yeah, about that….
USA: Maybe eroding the rule of international law wasn’t such a good idea.

For a longer breakdown that doesn’t run like a vaudeville routine, check out Exiled Online.

Hamlet: the Facebook version