Looking back at yesterday’s post, I had a thought - I do have a list of cool adults that I respect and look up to. Now, I’m getting ever closer to thirty and I still have a hard time internally classifying myself as an adult/grownup.

I don’t think it’s a protracted adolescence/fear of responsibility thing. I hold a steady job, I’m in a long term, committed relationship, I pay all my bills on time, I always have a bit of a safety net in the bank just in case. I can even have a conversation with my mother as two equals. By this and all the other criteria that I know of, I am a responsible adult - so why do I feel as if it’s a category that is still “other”? Still something I am looking at from the outside?

What is a grown up supposed to feel like? Inside myself I still see the kid who would wake up early on a summer morning to pick raspberries for breakfast. Will I ever really feel grown up? Do I want to?