When I was filling out the book order for this class, they asked for title and author for each book. So I filled out the first one. Title: Introduction to the Old Testament. Author: Anderson, Bernahrd. Then I came to the next one. “New Oxford Annotated Bible”. And I got to “Author,” and I paused, and I finally filled it out:
‘Spirit, Holy.’
-Dr. Kogan, Intro to Old Testament I

Found that manuscript - in section not actually my focus, but manuscript context important (or so grant application says) - offers litany of usual Names of God cribbed from Latin, Greek, Hebrew, Syriac, French, and quite possibly nursery rhymes. Favorite name: “Ellamay.” Am now visualizing God as ingenue from Beverly Hillbillies. Think this is no worse than visualizing God as old man in nightshirt; am quite certain God has better dress sense either way.
-Naomi Chana

It is not because angels are holier than men or devils that makes them angels but that they do not expect holiness from one another but from god alone
-William Blake

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”
-Charlie Brown

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
-Isaac Asimov

Lo there do I see my father
Lo there do I see my mother, and my sisters and my brothers
Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning
and lo, they do call to me and bid me to take my place at their side
in the halls of Valhalla where the brave may live forever

If a man gives way to his temper, and speaks evil of his neighbor, and does not pay his debts, he is NOT religious. I don’t care how much he goes to church. If some men are shams and humbugs, that does not make religion untrue.
-Anna Sewell, Black Beauty

There is an angel inside of me whom I am constantly shocking.

I’m an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.

Do you know how a falcon is trained, my dear? Her eyes are sewn shut. Blinded temporarily, she suffers the whims of her god patiently until her will is submerged and she learns to serve as your god taught you, blinded you with crosses.
-Vincent Price in The Masque of the Red Death

When your purpose in life is to entertain the gods, you had best put on a good show.

Its time to stop worshipping gods, and aim at becoming gods.
-Markoff Chaney

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God–but to create him.
-Arthur C. Clarke

Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.
-Andrew Lias

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.
-Bertrand Russell

Sex is evil, Evil is sin. Sin is forgiven so sex is in.

Hail to the sun god, he is a fun god, Ra Ra Ra!

He is YOUR god, they are YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell.

Jesus is coming… look busy!

Sorry I wasn’t at church last Sunday, but I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

We’re Gardnerians- Off With Your Clothes!

Starclad Dancing to the Drums, Something Wiccan This Way Comes!

Ankh if You Love Isis!

How many Asatru does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient, thank you

667- The neighbor of the Beast
-Travis Brooks

Please Lord, let me prove to you that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.

The elder gods went to Suggoth and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt

To die for a religion is easier to live it absolutely.
-Deutsches Requiem by George Louis Borges

I’ve got my place in hell all staked out. A nice condo on the 6th level, with a portal down to the seventh to keep the beer cold.
-Styles

Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.
-Dana Carvey, commedian, 1992

Now I’ve laid me down to die
I pray my neighbors not to pry
Too deeply into sins that I
Not only cannot here deny
But much enjoyed as life flew by.
-Preston Sturges, Epitaph

If there is not a Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.
-William Sunday

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.
-Voltaire

We’ll get along fine as soon as you realize I’m God.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Christ believed in hell. I do not myself feel that any person who is really profoundly humane can believe in everlasting punishment.
-Bertrand Russell

Sin harder! Ragnarok is coming!

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
-Quentin Crisp

We’re going to die within the next seven and a half miniutes. Making peace with yourself and/or your deity might be an excelent career move.
-Keith DeCandido

And Jesus said unto them, And whom do you say that I am?
They replied, You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed.
And Jesus replied, What?

God is dead and I want His job.

A Christian is a man who feels
Repentant on a Sunday
For what he did on Saturday
And will do again on Monday.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they’d never been born the first time?
- Katharine Whitehorn

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, The Courage to change the things that I can, And the Wisdom to hide the bodies of all the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
-The Serenity Prayer (Revised)

I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended for us to forego their use.
-Galileo

‘Nietzsche is dead!’
-God

Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.
-Milton

The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral was, as we see in the above passages from St. Paul, based upon the view that all sexual intercourse, even within marriage, is regrettable. A view of this sort, which goes against biological facts, can only be regarded by sane people as a morbid aberration. The fact that it is embedded in Christian ethics has made Christianity throughout its whole history a force tending towards mental disorders and unwholesome views of life.
-Bertrand Russell

All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.
-Stendhal

An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
-Victor Hugo

Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
-P. J. O’Rourke

Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?
-Jules Feiffer

For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything.

Religious reasons do not excuse violence: they accuse religion.

Why does the Vatican have lightning rods?

Goofy and Mickey are going to burn in eternal Hellfire for sharing an insurance policy! Details this Sunday at you local Southern Baptist Church. Witch burning and pot luck supper to follow the services.

JESUS IS COMING! Are you going to spit or swallow?

And should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those trees.
-Heinrich Heine

‘The gods too are fond of a joke.’
-Aristotle

‘I have looked into the abyss, and the abyss has looked into me. Neither liked what we saw.’
-Brother Theodore

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.
-Graham Greene

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

There is a room on Mount Olympus where the gods play games with people’s lives. Mind you, they don’t have TV.
-Zero

I’m not Satan; I’m his lovely assistant.
-Juliette Hoag

Without evil, you cannot define good.
-William Bartley

Halloween is Satanic!
If candy is satanic, then I’m the devil.
-written on a bathroom wall during the month of October

No, I don’t have any problem with a young religion [Wicca]. If it was created by folks in England who liked to dance naked in the woods, great. It can’t possibly be any worse than a religion started by blood-thirsty wife-beating goat herders in the middle of the freakin’ desert.
-Alex Isgut

True nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
-Hindustani Proverb

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
-Carl Edward Sagan

May the devil learn you are dead one half hour after you are in heaven.

Although they aren’t mentioned in the bible as such, preachers have spent centuries telling us the sins are pretty much no-go areas if you want to get god to like you lots.
-Ed Ricketts, refering to the seven deadly sins

This isn’t hell. This is where you get sent when you’ve been bad in hell.
-source unknown, but I believe it refers to the DMV.

My God is alive–sorry about yours.

Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich. Why settle for the lesser of two evils?

In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at their ownselves and said, We good. And God saw it was too late.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much.
-G.K. Chesterton

Jesus loves you. Then again, so does Barney.

Everyday people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
-Lenny Bruce